Everyone's experience with ADHD varies so much.
I've talked to so many people with the same diagnosis. What one person experiences, the other hasn't ever -- the spectrum is so vast with ADHD, and makes it difficult to nail down solutions for some of our common issues. (That -- and the fact that we are all just very different people at our core.)
The number one thing I personally struggle with thanks to my ADHD is productivity. My mother would say that I can't ever "...get my ducks in a row." For those of you who didn't grow up under the insightful wisdom and guidance of Judy Polvado Criswell, it was a nice way of saying I never had my crap together.
I've tried keeping a planner, setting alarms, having someone to keep me accountable... anything and everything that has ever been suggested to me, but those solutions come with their own set of problems too.
The planner gets lost in my messy backpack or the back of my car, and I completely forget I own one until I find it again three months later. Alarms are great until you forget what they're for by the time they've gone off. My accountability partners suffer from deep emotional wounds that I've inflicted when their helpful reminders just make me feel like a failure, and I react defensively to their help and efforts... the list goes on.
So, I have compiled a list of (odd) things that actually work for me, though they may be unorthodox. There is very little science behind these suggestions besides experimental methods. (Meaning, one day I tried it and for whatever reason, it just seemed to help.)
Disclaimer: obviously there are various factors that might prevent these from being effective from one person to another -- but you never know, so here's some stuff that helps me do... whatever it is that I'm supposed to be doing.
Weird Stuff I Do To Combat My Executive Dysfunction:
1. I leave my shoes on in the house.
If I'm heading home from class, or work, or anything else and I know that I have a list of things to accomplish before I can unwind or do anything else, I leave my shoes on.
When I take my shoes off, my brain thinks it's safe to relax and do whatever. What it doesn't realize is that it's not safe -- not yet. Not in the slightest.
Not until that pile of dishes is washed and my laundry from yesterday is folded and I've sent that e-mail I've been putting off for a week. No one is safe until my chores are complete. And for some reason, leaving my shoes on leaves my brain in "go mode." I have vacuumed in pajama pants and converse. Only God can judge me.
2. I wear my headphones to the grocery store.
Overstimulation is the unsung villain of ADHD.
If you suffer from being overly stimulated in busy public places like I do, then you understand how hard it is to talk yourself into going grocery shopping. The lights, the million people that are all talking at once, the babies crying, the one-hit-wonders you forgot about from the 80s over the blaring radio... grocery stores are the bane of my existence.
I can typically avoid this annoying little side-quest by ordering my groceries online and picking them up the next day, but every now and then I forget that I need to. (The irony is not lost on me here.)
When I am in desperate need of groceries, I will put on whatever audiobook or podcast I'm listening to and do my best to block everything else out. It gives my brain something to focus on instead of how overwhelmed I am with how many different kinds of soups there are, and helps to block out the other stimulations.
(Mom -- if you're reading this, I only shop in the daylight and I take the headphones off to walk in the parking lot.)
3. I go get a fun little drink.
Let's say you're having a REALLY bad executive function day and are struggling with even getting to the grocery store.
Set a trap for yourself.
For me, I'm highly motivated by whatever interesting little thing that gives me a burst of serotonin. Currently, that fixation is a cute little drink that I haven't tried yet, or one that I tried one time that I liked.
Coffee, energy drinks, new flavor of Peace Tea... whatever. There are so many and I want to try them all.
For you, it might not be a drink; it might be something else, but you know what it is when you find it. (For reference my "thing" used to be giving myself 10 minutes to look at the knick-knacks in Goodwill.)
Whatever it is, use that tiny spark of joy and interest to trap yourself into going to town; getting on the path that your obligations correspond with.
You got yourself a new fun drink from the corner store gas station? Yay! Well -- since you're already in town, you really should go return that overdue library book... or drop that bag of donation clothes off that's been in your trunk for a month...
Works like a charm.
4. Everyone only gets one cup.
Washing dishes.
Go ahead, I'll give you a second to shake off the shiver that just ran down your spine. Without getting too deep into the many reasons to hate it, it's one of my bigger issues.
Cups, though -- cups and ADHD are a dangerous pair.
My brain struggles with Object Permanence; that is to say, out of sight = out of mind. And cups? I have found cups in places I wouldn't dare to reveal, with things in them that probably had enough signs of life to classify as a new ecosystem.
So, my remedy to this is that I only let myself use one cup. My favorite cup. A court-ordered cup. Whatever you want to call it -- perspective is everything, baby.
When I'm thirsty? I don't grab a new cup from the many that are placed strategically way beyond my reach at the top of the cabinet -- no, no. I look for my cup, the only one I'm allowed to use. I find where I sat it down last. I wash it. I use it. Repeat. Voila -- no more cup mountain next to your bed.
Simple, yet effective.
5. I place my medication where I know I'll see it.
Speaking of Object Permanence -- perhaps the most unifying experience everyone with ADHD has had is forgetting to take the medication that helps you remember to take your medication.
I know I'm supposed to keep it in the medicine cabinet, but that's like playing roulette with what kind of day I'm going to have.
Instead, I keep a bottle of my medication next to something I use every day. My toothbrush, the coffee maker, the shelf strategically hung in perfect eye view from the toilet... look, it may not always be pretty, but it gets the job done.
6. I lie to myself and others.
That paper is due on the 5th? It's on my calendar for the 3rd. Mom says we need to be at Grandma's for Mother's Day lunch at 12:30 P.M.? I'm telling my Type A personality, always-on-time-for-everything-fiancé that she said 11 A.M. instead.
Why?
I pride myself on honesty, but when it comes to deadlines, my mind will wait until precisely the very last minute to start whatever tasks need to be started in order for me to finish my homework or get somewhere on time. I am chronically late.
This way, my brain will kick into hyper-focus at an appropriate time instead of the last minute.
(I recommend corresponding with the people in your life that know and love you for this hack. Sometimes your mom is two steps ahead of you and really wants you at Mother's Day lunch at 1 P.M.)
The important theme here is strategy.
Even on my best day, sometimes it's still me against my brain. I've learned that when you can't just power through, sometimes you need a little bit of help to get things done, (no matter how odd it might be.)
These tips might not work for everyone, but they can still inspire you to seek out alternative helpful methods for combating your own ADHD executive dysfunction.
And remember -- you're not lazy, you're not dramatic, you aren't just "too sensitive," and you aren't a failure. Living with ADHD can be impairing sometimes on a level that neurotypical individuals might not understand, but just because your brain works differently, doesn't mean it's broken.
Now -- did you remember to turn off the oven?
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